PST!

>__>… just wanted to let you know, I’m not dead. Yet…. >__>

Last week things were sorta busy cause my grandpa passed away. Viewing was last Monday and funeral Tuesday. I also had another viewing to go to on Monday and another on Thursday. I also started 3 new college classes on Monday (online) with assignments due almost everyday that week. Only, I hadn’t gotten on my computer to know that until about 11 Monday night. >_> I was seething.

So as I still play catch-up with that, I also had a few other things happen to me. I was called Tuesday during the funeral (I called back the next day, but I did find the voicemail after the service) about a JOB INTERVIEW!!!! =D *que streamers, music, and dancing*!!! I felt pretty good about the interview but I won’t know anything until sometime next week. *fingers crossed* My Halloween party was ALSO on Friday (interview was at noon that day). >_> The night before I was told my best friend (Marine who is currently stationed in North Carolina) wasn’t coming to the party. I hadn’t seen him in a year and was pretty angry and upset about it. Well…. >_> I got dressed at 4 (which is when the party started cause I was running a bit late) and as I’m finishing up my mom yells down the stairs that people are already here. All I could think of was “REALLY!? NOW YOU PEOPLE SHOW UP ON TIME?!” Because naturally at all my other parties, they would always be there an hour or two into the party. So I rush upstairs in my heels and low and behold, there’s Jeff standing in my doorway. O_O I tackled him into the door. XD Much fun was had that night and I couldn’t be happier that Jeff and his new wife Ash could come. I spent all weekend essentially doing homework and hanging out with boyfriend (dunno if he wants his name up, shush). Obviously cause sweetest day then silly anniversary and church and all that fun stuff.

Now, I continue to catch up on homework cause I JUST got the right book for one of my classes Monday night. -__- Mostly today I get to read ALLLLLL DAYYY. >_> Until he gets here at 6:30 to distract me with something. I don’t know what yet. >__< BUSY BUSY BUSY !!!

I’m also working on a new novel that I HOPE *fingers crossed* I will fully stick with and get published eventually and I hope to turn into a series. ^__^ I also have to knit a scarf, write a letter hopefully on a semi daily basis, ship out all the stuff I sold and then…. I don’t really know what after that. >_> STUDY TO DEATH!

Off to read, write, homework, and all that fun stuff all night long.

Oh wait….. >_>

It’s sorta 5 pm and I haven’t eaten yet today…..

OFF TO THE KITCHEN!!!!

Hurting

There’s been…. a LOT going on lately. …. past several weeks, past few days… everything…

 

5 weeks ago, my grandpa was admitted to the hospital for a stroke. He had surgery for a bleeder, was doing really well, started recognizing people… then went downhill. Had to have feeding tube put back in, got several infections, and wasn’t really there much at all anymore. He increasingly got worse, they had to put a drainage tube back in because the fluids weren’t draining from his brain.

Two nights ago, he went in for surgery again, then the next morning, back in for emergency surgery because of another bleeder. The damage was so severe, they said if he doesn’t improve by the next day my family would have to make a decision whether or not they want him taken off of life support. My family made that choice today… as far as I know, when he was taken off of that, because of where and how severe the damage was, he’d barely be able to do basic life functions, but he was breathing on his own when taken off the ventilator. We don’t know what’s going on. I’m sure we’re all hoping for some amazing miracle from God, but other than that, we’re basically waiting for the swelling to stop all functions. Sadly, we’re honestly just waiting to see what happens, and not expecting much.

 

3 of my friends are either having relationship troubles, problems with exes, or the likes. I’m kinda one of their go-to people for things that bother them or hurt them.

Another of my friends, one of my exes (one I get along with and have stayed friends with) and his girlfriend broke up. I kept trying to get a hold of him but I couldn’t manage to. I found out today, he can’t really talk for reasons that aren’t my business to share on here. Just essentially, he can’t communicate with much of anyone right now. What’s even more upsetting, is that I know how much he loved that girl, and how much he wanted to be with her. She committed suicide today. I doubt he knows, it’s not my place to tell him regardless if I could. I do know that a lot of people are hurting from this and that a lot of people love her. I know it’s going to be hard on him for her to be gone and I wanna be there every second I can for him, because I’m scared of what might happen after he finds out.

 

Please keep these people and their families in your prayers (if you believe in that) and my family as well.

Lost

… Things seemingly go great for me as of late… then my heart and mind get caught between a rock and a  hard place. There are just …. some things that refuse to leave me be. Main one is a person… no, I didn’t fully lose them. They’ll still talk to me, just, not necessarily in the manner I wish that they would. … and I wish the thoughts of that person would just fade away already. We have separate paths and practically separate lives. I wonder and worry about him, but we have our own lives and our own things going on now… he has his fiancee and I have my boyfriend. Yet he still invades my dreams and I still fall apart everytime I see his face…

Touchy Subject

… so, I know this is a touchy subject with some people (actually, I’m probably going to bring up a few here) that really annoy me. …. I’m not gonna say much in this post. I just want some people’s opinions, options, statements, etc. I will write a post probably sometime next week on these and what I feel, but I just want some LIGHT (don’t even think about starting fights) opinions and viewpoints (both sides) on these issues:

 

1. pro-life or pro-choice

2.  support LGBT or don’t?

3. Should differences in religion/denomination really cause a rift between people (I’m sorry, but I am going to say that this needs to not include religions that perform sacrifice or support the killing of humans… >_>)

4. …. Yeah, I know I have at least two more and I just blanked out on them, I’ll try to rethink of them later. >_>

 

Just give me your LIGHT opinions, stating different arguements. thank you.

Bullshit

I’m going on a rant, and I don’t bloody care what you think. I’m sick of this bs and I want it to stop! (might be some swearing in there)

 

I’m the weirdo caught in the middle of this crap all the time. Want to know why? Cause I’m different.

 

Let me explain:

I’m a Christian…. but not the ordinary Christian that might come to mind to all of you.

1. Not homophobic. Some of my best friends are gay or bi. I support LGBT. Sue me. I realize the Bible says differently, but I really don’t care. It’s their choice.

2. Don’t put down other denominations. It’s their choice. We all have skewed histories of which Bible came from where and which one is accurate. You have your beliefs, I have mine. I really don’t care and it doesn’t upset me that you have different ones, just don’t shove yours down my throat and I won’t do the same (actually, I won’t do it either way cause I don’t bloody care!)

3. Don’t put down or have problems with other religions…. *starts to count*at least a DOZEN of my closest friends are pagan (many of which are Wiccan). I don’t have a problem with it. Doesn’t make them any less of friends. I still treat them like family most of them (the ones that are closest to me). They’re not bad people, they’re not doing any harm (hell, their one rule is “HARM NONE!”)…. I read up on Wicca, studied it a bit, and for a while when I was skeptical about God, I almost converted to it. I don’t care if you’re Buddhist, pagan, Hindu  Christian, whatever you are, I’m fine with it (so long as you’re not going around killing people for whatever reason and living by decent mores, I don’t have a problem with what you believe in). Would I like the idea of knowing that when they die they go to Heaven (which is what I believe they could do) YEAH! …. But it’s up to them and I fully understand why they would believe differently. It doesn’t make them bad people, they have the same basic principles (yeah, there are differences, but I mean basic human interaction and laws, like don’t kill, don’t cheat, etc).

4. I really don’t care what you wear. Be “modest” yeah, but modesty is all about attitude and how you carry yourself. It isn’t definitively outlined that hems have to be THIS LONG and shirts have to come UP TO HERE!!! If you look back in time near when Teddy Roosevelt was born…. men wore dresses until they were about 7… that was normal. Not to mention blue stood for females and pink for males… so don’t get caught up on what is per gender or modest or whatever. It has to do with your own personal self, attitude, and carriage.

5. I don’t have a denomination per say. I go to a Baptist church, always have, but why are we putting labels on ourselves like that? We’re supposed to be an example for others at how wonderful life as a Christian could be, but we have wars and battle between denominations cause we have them for a label. Catholics are at Baptists necks and Lutherans against Non-Denominational and Pentecostals against Protestant. WHY!? There’s no point to it! Yeah, we have different beliefs. We’re human beings. Each one of us is an absolute individual who even takes each bit of those categories differently. Why battle and wage wars and spill rumors about one another like that when we’re all supposed to be more Christ like? That’s just dividing forces and creating rifts between some wonderful people. If my family had rifts like that and that severely I probably wouldn’t have a house to live in. My grandma is Catholic, mom and I are *technically* Baptist, and other parts of my family are Lutheran. I wouldn’t be dating my boyfriend right now cause he’s Lutheran but he doesn’t necessarily follow all the beliefs and have the same views as them on absolutely everything! I don’t with my “denomination” either!

 

 

If you believe in God… then he put us here as an example. Something I’ve noticed in this world is that churches, if you’re not part of the church or you don’t believe in God… then you’re hated and spat upon and looked down on. God loved everyone, even those that persecuted him. He didn’t look down on them or hate them or treat them any less like his children. So why are we pushing away others and taking them out of our families or “families” for either being a part of something else, or even  yet….. associating with others who are part of something else.

 

 

This just happened to me recently, and it sucks. A Christian friend of mine decided I’m no longer her “sister” cause I have two other “sister”s who are both pagan. … I don’t see why that should make someone uncomfortable. It doesn’t change the person. We’re not MAGICALLY different because of that. I know my other sis is hurt like hell right now cause when the first one found out she was pagan, she decided to leave her too. I absolutely TREASURE the title of calling someone my family because I have a lot of issues with my real one and I’m not always on eye level with them… I RARELY am because I’m such an odd individual. To have someone rebuke and take that back over something as silly as this…. it hurts like hell, and I really don’t want to tolerate someone attacking another person’s religion like that or treating them differently for it.

 

What would you all do to me if I was wiccan? Call me a witch? Yell at me? Curse me out and disown me? WHY?! We’re all people just trying to make it in this insane horrible cruel world. Why put someone down for having different beliefs or push them further away because of it.

 

I’m sorry. I know I don’t bring up as strong of topics as religion much, but it honestly needed to be heard, and people needed to know. Argue if you want, I understand that people do it, but if you argue and yell, you will get no answer from me. I’m done.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

So, I’ve been crazy busy lately. ^___^ Well, sorta happy >_>

School: Yeah, I’m in college right now, taking all online classes. They’re 8 week courses. Right now I only have one and then half way through I will have 3 more starting up when this one ends. At the moment it’s just algebra, then in come Economics, Psychology, and Composition. Woo-Hoo?

Work: I never was able to get a job but that’s probably a good thing at the moment anyway XD I have too much else going on and I don’t want to screw up my first semester at college anyway. >_>

Boyfriend: I has one. ^___^ He’s pretty cool. I approve, mom approves, dad approves, even Justin approves (Jake “doesn’t” but hasn’t met him and only made that judgement cause his car isn’t a Dodge -__- he can kiss my ass). I’ve been spending a lot of time with him (doing school work cause we’re both pretty busy with college).

I’ve also been keeping a journal, writing a novel, keeping up with some online friends, taking lots of pictures, and sewing together my first dress (well, as often as I can… I don’t have a sewing machine and my back has been severely messed up for months and it’s fighting getting adjusted every single time).

I read quite a bit during the summer, although I admit it wasn’t nearly as much as I wanted to read. I do have quite a few more books to read on my shelves. >__> But there are so many others I’d rather read that I don’t own!!!

I did all my Christmas shopping (save for dad, step-mom and new boyfriend assuming he and I are still together then *crosses fingers*). Most of it was … no… no… ALL of it was bought on etsy (I’ve come to love that site). Most of them were just little cute things for my sisters and mom. Typer, you are not allowed to know your gift, but no, I did not get you something girly, even though Batman is the coolest Disney princess. -__-

I might make stuff for others with what I have at home though. ^__^

 

In the coming months I have….

-MOAR COLLEGE!!!
-Possibility of a Job (boyfriend is taking me job hunting on Friday)
-making presents for a few people *coughcough* old English teacher
-finishing up Halloween invites (need to go fix my calligraphy pen….)
-having my Halloween party
-switching college classes
-getting engaged
-going to birthday parties
-possibly making a second dress
-starting a photo album
-helping my mom make business cards (maybe)
-trying to sell all these paintings
-having adventures!!!! (cause they’re awesome!)
So yeah, just a little update since I put things up here so little anymore >_> ^__^ I hope you’re all doing well!!!

 

(if you actually fell for that engagement thing, …. please gibbs slap yourself, there’s no way in hell I’m getting married for a number of years)

Family

I’ve never been quite… in touch with my family in real life. I’m a bit of an oddball to them. However, a few months back, I joined a site called fubar, and was invited into a lounge about a month later. The people in that lounge have now become my family practically. Though, there seems to be a bit of a family hierarchy to it. They use screen names, but I’m going to use the shortened versions for sake of ease and just so you can’t hunt them down and stalk them on fubar ^__^

 

First, there’s Saken and Val (and I am incredibly happy that Saken invited me to the lounge that night): Though it seems rather odd to say about people online that I’ve hardly known online for a month and have never met, but they’re like the parents of the lounge. They’re always there for anyone in that lounge. They help their family, support, and love them. If there are issues or small fights, they help sort them out.

Then there’s Devil and Kadi: They seem like very close cousins to Saken and Val. Though, they seem to watch a bit more than fight. They’re laid back and just go with the flow of things. Seem to try to keep things upbeat.

There’s also May and Jerry: May is like Val’s sister and Jerry her husband practically. They participate in silly shennanagains, like making their profile pictures afros and having fun with that (especially May). She likes keeping things upbeat and bright.

Then come the oddballs. ( )

There’s Necro: The zombie of the group who likes a good fight. (Though pretty sure he can have a soft side if he really wanted to, but that’s just me being silly and writing at midnight probably : P ) He’s like an uncle, but not blood relative

There’s Crazy: another uncle , only maybe on Saken’s side of the family. Silly and likes to watch in on the fun (especially when we all start getting a little silly in what we do)

There’s Donn: sucker for redheads it seems and likes his drinks too (though, not too sure there are many in there that don’t)

Finally, there’s Wolfie: he’s been a fantastic friend to me, brother to Saken, Val, and May (and I’m sure many others) with a very sweet heart (but like most of us, a short temper).

 

I know there are others that I can’t quite think of right this second, but those are the ones I see and interact with most anymore. They’ve become a second family to me… Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Oddballs, everything, and I’m really glad I have them. Cause they’re pretty cool, and I wouldn’t trade em for the world.